Bullying.

Hey guys, good to see you guys again!

I have been recovering nicely, and hope to resume streaming, chilling with you guys soon.

In the meantime, I wanted to talk about something deeply personal, and important, to me; bullying.

More accurately, I would like to give my opinions on online harassment, stream rules, and toxicity.

Besides going through depression from being bullied when I was in middle school, being an online persona has brought with it some harassment. I mean, if anyone were to write an 8,000-word essay on Counter Strike, and publicly considering themselves an “expert” at the game, I would also be like “Who dat dude doe?” (let’s be honest).

I believe we all have endured through toxicity, BUT I don’t think it’s right.

(This is a pretty long post, so here is the TL;DR [Too Long Didn’t Read]  – Think before you act. Don’t be an ass. ezpz)

For starters, it’s important to note that this community has, and will continue to be, about inclusivity, positivity, and understanding.

It’s important to note that “happiness” is not on this list. We can have our sad streams sometimes and drowning REAL negative feelings to just act like you are happy is neither real nor psychologically healthy. However, you can feel sad/mad, while actively trying to have a positive outlook.

it should be reminded that people who you interact with are very much real. They have lives, families, and responsibilities. Pretty much every person you interact with has stress, whether from losing a couple of ranked games with the boyz or daily life/work/studying. It’s perfectly normal.

Just because your life is going well, does not mean that each and every one is also having a good time. Be mindful about people’s situation.

Now, in order to properly talk about toxicity, we need to dissect it.

It would be ignorant of me to talk about what it is, because we have all experienced it. It’s a curse overshadowed by the blessing of online anonymity and freedom of speech.

Let’s, however, talk about the how, when, and why.

WHY is someone toxic/hateful? As complicated as this question might be, I tend to think hate derives from pride, greed, and misunderstandings. Pride being “I am better than you,” greed being “I want what you have.” and misunderstandings being self-explanatory. I will be talking about each one individually and provide HOW people are toxicby using real comments.

Pride-based and greed-based toxicity go together, people either act to keep their pride high, to regain lost pride, or to desire a specific emotion by influencing another person’s emotions.

A good example is “Your retarded and hope you get cancer kid” from my Rainbow Six Siege Fragmovie. In this example, the person was someone I recognized and used to frequently play against in Siege. I assume the purpose of the message was to help make himself feel better after losing (desire to feel happy by making me feel like sad), and to probably blame his losses on me (maintain pride high because he feels the loss was out of his control [when in reality, it is equally in his control]). He also calls me a kid which can be a jab at trying to make himself feel older and more experienced than me (regain lost pride by making himself superior).

It’s hard to really tell exactly why he said it, but I think this is a fair and reasonable assumption.

Now, misunderstandings can be equally-complicated to identify, but what really makes a difference is the time allowed to receive an opinion, and the delivery/perception of the statement.

Someone can have a legit purpose, but word it wrong, and be toxic. – “Why are you so dumb?” instead of “Why did you do that?”. Likewise, someone can have a legit purpose, try their best to word it correctly, and the other person can identify it as being toxic.

However, in both situations what happens AFTER is important. A person who is toxic, will often act and refuse to listen to anyone else. They will state their opinion and ignore others or stop them from talking, or they will ask a question and either ignore answers or stop answers from being expressed.

This is how we can, and have, talked about controversial things on stream in a positive manner. We each talk about our opinion, instead of just stating it. We are also welcomed to express ourselves, while equally giving others the same opportunity.

WHEN is someone toxic? I like to think that many people choose to be toxic when they are tired of being mindful. Either they feel like the work it takes to be mindful is not worth the result, or they have other priorities over it. It can be after being dumped by your significant other, or after a rough day at work, etc.

I have talked about this before, but I believe that being nice is not necessarily hard; it just takes extra steps.

Being mindful is about minding what you say, how you say it, and why you say it. Words have meaning, and therefore certain words have certain meanings. I would be exaggerating to think that people should constantly think about what to say before they say it, but a little forethought is more than enough.

Because again, it’s all about purpose. If you say something, and it’s misunderstood as toxic, it will continue to be perceived that way until you help others understand what you really meant to say. English is hard sumtimes, specially if it’s not your first language.

This is the reason why I believe in giving everyone a chance. Sometimes people have a really hard time and act before they think stuff out. The community isn’t the only thing you’re a part of, and heck, even sometimes I tend to say stuff I don’t mean or are perceived as toxic.

It’s always going to be an ongoing process, specially with newer/random people who join this community. They’re not used to it, so they deserve a chance to acclimate and get accustomed.

“Yeah yeah, toxic is toxic. What about solutions?”

When someone toxic comes into the community, and antagonizes, the usual answer is to ignore or attack the person. I, now, tend to disagree with both.

Since the start of the stream back in 2012, or even before that, on Youtube, I made a promise to not let toxicity get to me. Let’s just call it a byproduct of being a professional MLG player. As a result, my answer to this was to ignore it.

If a person were to call me trash, or use a racial slur, I would just act like I didn’t see the comment and move along. This worked, as people would notice that I was not fazed and that their actions had no real effect on me. They saw the process as worthless and would move on.

However, this sometimes led to a lot of people getting hurt by me not timing out a comment or letting a person with an offensive name wander constantly in chat. It also probably made me look lazy and maybe even scared to lose that single viewer. Probably made me look like I value that one person (and by association, his opinions) as more valuable than others (who I would call friends/long-time viewers).

For this, I would like to apologize for anyone who was hurt by my indirect actions.

I value everyone’s experience in both the chat and community and work hard so that everyone can have a good time. If you were hurt by a comment that was said, and sequentially left un-moderated by me, then I am sorry. Just because I can ignore a comment, doesn’t mean everyone should be able to as well. Just like I mentioned how one’s life can be well while another person’s can be the opposite, my ignorance shouldn’t be yours.

This goes alongside the idea that toxicity does not heal toxicity. If someone antagonizes, then antagonizing back will only reinforce the toxicity, and spread it.

Think of it like a fire; you cannot stop a bonfire with fire. Also, like previously stated, ignoring a fire CAN lead to it being put out naturally, but it’s not actively putting it out. In real life, ignoring a fire can allow to it grow unsupervised, and potentially hurt someone, so I choose to be proactive and deal with hate directly.

Therefore, I would like to explain harassment going forward.

– There will be no discrimination of any kind. (Ban)

Discrimination is DEROGATORY. Talking about specific things in Black or Asian culture, for example, is NOT derogatory. (ex: “I don’t like Mexican food.”)

This goes for race, politics, opinions, gender, etc. Likewise, someone that is being annoying DOES NOT NECESSARILY MEAN that they are harassing.

Purpose matters. Try to give the benefit of the doubt.

This also goes for anything that YOU say. There are real people out there. While you can’t control what others say, you can control yourself.

Besides, it’s not your job to deal with offenders. That job is mine. Relax, cooperate, and trust me to handle things.

When it comes to joking and shit talk, you must make it clear that you are doing so. “Kappa, /s, jk” are there for a reason. It’s hard to detect sarcasm through text, so make it easier for me.

– No spamming. (Timeout/Ban)

Spamming will be dealt with when someone is ACTIVELY and PURPOSEFULLY trying to just occupy space in chat. This can either be by copy/pasting the same thing repeatedly (to try to get my attention), or repeatedly posting short one-word messages.

If I miss a message (it happens) you can post that message again. However, I am usually pretty good at reading chat, so if you’re spamming the same message 5 times in a row, you will be timed out and told to stop. Previously, I would ignore some messages, and hope that they wouldn’t pop back up, but now if I see a question or something that I would not like to answer, I would say it directly.

Also, being excited about something can make you spam the chat a bit, so there is nothing wrong with that. There are also a few viewers who have autism and hyperactivity disorders, so be reasonable and respectful, as they will be trying to do the same.

Repeated offenders will be banned. Also, no porn links pls.

– Everyone deserves, and will receive, a chance.

It’s human to make mistakes. We want to avoid misunderstandings, so if you believe someone has discriminated against you (or you feel is breaking any of the rules), you can send me a PRIVATE MESSAGE (anywhere) and let me know. Likewise, if you believe you were misunderstood, we can talk about it through PMs, and voice your opinion in a productive manner.

I refuse to turn a stream or a session into a live episode of Maury. The parties involved are not the only ones watching or playing, so I hope you can understand how I must deal with a specific issue while also trying to provide entertainment.

Furthermore, we cannot force a person to admit they did wrong. We can suggest it to them and try to let them know that what they did was wrong, but it is ultimately their decision to either accept this (and explain/change/apologize) or ignore it.

In the end, if this decision aligns with our rules and continues enhancing the experience, then they can enjoy spending time with us.

When the offender blatantly chooses to continue breaking the rules, only then will they be banned.

– My decision to timeout/ban will be on a case-to-case basis.

Everything in this world is a spectrum, it’s not black or white. Things can be right, things can be wrong. Things can also be a little right, and a little wrong at the same time. It isn’t perfect (nothing is) but seeing every situation independently will hopefully yield better results for you guys, and for me.

It’s also important to let me know if something is off. Multiple eyes are better than just a single pair. If you see someone breaking the rules, let me know privately. In the end, this channel is still a dictatorship (I’m just a mindful and considerate dictator <- humblebrag).

– Bans will be permanent.

If the point of someone’s visit is purely to cause harm, and they refuse to fix their mistakes, they will be banned. No exceptions.

If that someone is new or has been around for years, a chance will be given to them, and further actions taken based on their actions. As you know, I am the one that moderates most of my content, and I cannot afford to provide good content while also having to deal with drama, etc.

No more “Hey man, I have told you to stop 38 times now” and having to give 30-min bans to the same person every couple of days. If you’re not working with me, you might be working against me.

Drama is not what this community is about. There are plenty of other streams/communities out there that utilize and even revolve around drama, but this is not one of them.

Thankfully, you guys rarely (I mean, like SUPER RARE) treat me or someone else with hate or negative emotions. I don’t have to preach to the choir, but still, there is some change, and I find it important to keep you guys on the loop. Also, this is more to the new people

I hope this post helps explain the purpose, execution, and reasoning behind the rules, going from now on.

Continue caring for others, the way I deeply care about you. ❤ In, and outside the stream.

Anyways, sorry about the REALLY long post, but it something I have been thinking about for years. Specially with all the different things going on online, people need to be reminded to not only be more mindful, but also that there are communities purposefully here to help, and not add to the problems of the world.

I love you guys, muah! till next time! -AP❤ #StayAddicted

“If people can hate without good reason, then I am willing to love without good reason.”